Weddings And Kids: Not A Match Made In Heaven
Most of the romantic and idyllic wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and lovable children. However, being the cheery, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously amusing.
We know that children are fun seekers and would not cease to entertain themselves during boring hours. Children cannot easily calm down and comprehend the fun adults have on weddings. The occasion can be quite boring to them.
When children get bored, they become trouble to adults. They can roam around, throw food at people, fight with other kids or ruin things. These are entertaining to them, but can be nightmares to adults, especially to brides and grooms during weddings.
Should You Invite the Children?
Let’s face the facts. To most brides and grooms, having kids at their weddings is not a great idea.
Just thinking about an unruly child messing up her gown, toppling the cake or upsetting the wedding party sets any bride-to-be in panic mode. It’s too bad that so many parents are insensitive to these concerns. Some moms and dads just can’t appreciate or comprehend how a bride or groom may not want to have their cute and loveable kids at the wedding.
Wedding etiquette books and guides suggest that the best way to discourage parents from bringing children is to make it clear on the invitation. According to these guides, brides and grooms who rather not have children at their wedding can do one of two things: leave the kids’ names off of the invitation, or spread the word that it is an “adult only” occasion.
The second option may seem a little extreme, but it’s better than enduring a child’s misbehavior or tantrums on your special day.
Not every parent understands or appreciates wedding etiquette, so it’s perfectly sensible and acceptable for the bride or groom to be straightforward and inform guests beforehand that the wedding involves an ‘adult reception.’
Frankly telling guests with children that kids will not be welcome in the wedding can also be a practical option. For some, the gesture would not be very polite, but practicality would tell otherwise. Every bride and groom wants formality for their much-awaited moments. Recognize that.
Another method to exclude children in wedding invitations is to mention the number of seats reserved for a particular guest. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Mercer are reserved only two seats at the reception. That means that Mr. and Mrs. Mercer’s five children do not have places in the wedding. They should understand that.
If the guests still act clueless and insist on bringing along their children with them, contact them before the wedding and explain why children should not be attending the wedding. Educate them a bit about wedding etiquette.
Wedding etiquette for the parents
If you receive a wedding invitation that does not clearly state that kids are excluded, and if the couple does not call to emphasize the point, then you may assume that you can bring the children. As a courtesy, check with the couple to make sure it’s OK to bring the kids along.
As a parent, remember your wedding etiquette. If your kids misbehave, deal with any unruly behavior right away. You wouldn’t want some kid’s tantrum spoiling your wedding.
Put yourself in the bride and groom’s position. How would you feel if it was your wedding, and someone else’s kids were causing a scene? Suddenly, they don’t seem as sweet or cute.
Take the initiative and leave your children at home, if you can help it, when you attend the wedding. They could play around the house or watch the television or do their homework. They would likely get bored throughout the wedding ceremony and might ruin everything.
If you absolutely must bring your child, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, mark the occasion as an opportunity to teach your kids about simple and practical wedding etiquette. You can turn this occasion into a lesson by informing the child that he or she is expected to behave just like the adult guests.
This would be the best teaching occasion to show the kids how to act during weddings, and train them about some table and social manners.
In addition, wedding etiquette tell us to learn from each wedding. For the couple, it teaches how to be good hosts. For guests, it teaches how to be good guests and for parents to be good teachers to their children who are incidentally also attending the wedding.
