Thoughtful Grandparenting At Christmas
Most adults enjoy the Christmas season, each year, with its holiday foods, the special concerts and plays and pageants, and of course, all the holiday parties. But as much fun as the holidays promise each year, the joy that adults feel is multiplied tenfold when they become parents and can celebrate Christmas with their children.
Children are usually the focal points of most holiday celebrations, but even more so at large family gatherings, when relatives get to enjoy the youngest family members, often for the first time. Even so, it’s more and more difficult for families to gather at Christmas than it’s ever been. Extended families, today, are spread out more than ever before.
No matter how far apart from each other families may live, today, young parents can be sure that there’s one custom that will never change-the insistence by grandparents that they have to see their grandkids at Christmas. It’s a custom that every grandparent seems to engage in, every holiday season.
Family life has changed, though, since most of today’s grandparents were new parents. Most young families, today, are two-income households, and holiday vacation time for Dad may be different than Mom’s time off. Travel-planning, particularly during the holidays, is more difficult than it was a generation ago. Airline travel is more expensive and also more difficult, when flying with small children.
As much as grandparents might want to see their children and grandchildren at Christmas, the spirit of the holiday season will be diminished, if a family gathering is fueled by guilt. And for young couples trying to please everyone, the choice between which grandparents to visit can often lead to the kind of conflict that will dampen someone’s Christmas.
Grandparents interested in seeing their offsprings’ children at Christmastime really should remember what it was like to be a young parent with a new family. It’s much easier for grandparents to travel to their grandchildren, than vice-versa. It’s also less expensive for two to fly, than a family. And if Grandma and Grandpa are really considerate, they’ll at least offer to stay in a motel, near their kids, so that no one has to be displaced by their visit.
The best time for grandparents to visit is just before Christmas. They can give presents to their grandkids, help babysit while the grandchildren’s parents attend holiday functions, then leave and be out of the way by Christmas itself, so that the new young family can begin their own holiday traditions. Many grandparents and retirees have discovered that Christmas week is a great time to find bargain prices at resorts and hotels. A vacation, right after visiting the grandkids, is a great way to make the nest seem less empty at Christmas.
