Don’t Be Scared Of Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry is found in most families and is not uncommon. Dont stress when your kids fight and argue amongst themselves, it is part of the growing process. This does not always happen in every family but it does happen a lot.
Your children have a good overall relationship with one another and seem to be happy otherwise, sibling rivalry is nothing to worry about. When things get out of hand and sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child parents should step in. Ignoring the situation does not make it go away and could cause difficulty with close relationships and other problems for your child in the long run.
Here are some reasons for sibling rivalry, provocation, and jealousy:
Having a personality that is jealous or aggressive
A shortage of self-esteem
Poor social skills
People suffering from low self-esteem tend to be unhappy with themselves and seek validation from others, especially family members. If their view is outwardly focused in this way, they can become envious and think others are better than them. If this person also lacks social skills, they might relieve their frustration by “acting up” with their siblings. He or she might also be provoked easily. This is the main cause of sibling rivalry.
Dealing with Sibling Rivalry
When it is possible to deal with unhealthy sibling rivalries indirectly, this is the best solution. Direct wheat dealing with sibling rivalry may impair as though you are taking sides. This may result in one child feeling as though they are being victimized and then becoming withdrawn or aggressive while blaming you for the situation.
Tips on dealing with sibling rivalry:
Give the child that is being alienated plenty of attention, support and love.
Spend time with the child in question. This boost self-esteem and makes him feel important.
Check the causes for the child’s unhappiness.
Encourage your child to confide in you. Don’t shout because this has an adverse effect on the situation.
When he has calmed down, ask him what he would advise a friend of his to do in a similar situation. He might come up with some original and helpful ideas.
Talk to his teacher at school. Ask for solutions or advice. Remember that teachers have plenty of experience when it comes to dealing with children. You can make a plan with the teacher of how to help the child.
You can visit, if need be, a child psychologist (without the child) for further advice and solutions.
Jealousy and sibling rivalry can begin at any age although it is usually during childhood while the child is attempting to create or discover his own identity that these problems arise. These problems may also occur during puberty, adolescents and even early adulthood depending on the individual situation. These situations are easier to deal with while child is young. As a child matures your advice may not be taken as easily.
Adult Sibling Rivalries
If your adult child is having trouble with a sibling and this is disrupting the family, intervention is recommended. Here are some possible interventions:
If you have a good relationship with your child, try to get him to discuss the problem. Remain impartial and don’t me judgmental.
Try discussing the problem with the child you have a better relationship with. While working this out with your children you should always remain impartial or you can increase the problem you are attempting to repair.
Have a third party discuss this with your children. This can be a close personal friend or a distant relative.
Talk to the sibling that is willing to take the advice. That way this sibling can stop the argument.
Building self-esteem in your children is not always easy, especially after there have been issues with sibling rivalry. Never give up on getting a good relationship built between your children. Some of the closest siblings didnt start out that way; they had to work through their issues as well. In the end, if you make an honest effort to show your children how to get along and how to treat one another it will work out.
